The Vampire Diaries

When I found out that my dear friend, Emily, watched The Vampire Diaries, I couldn't have been more excited because I have been watching this damn show since the beginning with NO ONE to discuss it with! Thankfully, Emily and I are on the same page with this show and we constantly discuss it and how to make it the greatest show in the history of television, so, without further ado, I present to you one (of many) of our "conversations" about The Vampire Diaries... It starts innocent enough, discussing the episode that airs tonight (12/6), but then it really gets into the heart of the show and our friendship.

Episode 1.1 - Emily and Nicole Discuss "The Vampire Diaries"

E: I watched a clip of the new TVD episode and Damon didn't know about the "sire bond" and when Stefan tells him he's all "you can't just let me get the girl and be happy"...

N: Poor Damon... 

N: He does have a point though

N: Plus, Army outfit.

E: I hope they break the sire bond and she still stays with Damon. The look on everyone's face is going to be priceless. 

E: Not that I care, but where's bonnie?

N: Well, hasn't Tyler said before that even with the sire bond, the "sired" individual still has to have those feelings or thoughts before they were sired, so...

E: When was the last time we saw Bonnie?

E: A sire bond doesn't make you want to bone your sire...  Elena kinda jumped Damon. Just sayin'. 

E: A couple episodes ago? At the college? She was probably frowning.

N: Wasn't she "hypnotized" for 10 hours by the creeper professor?

N: Elena just did what she's been wanting to do. Can't blame her for that.

E: "Hypnotized" just like Biggie. 

N: Just like.

E: Right? She's like "well, fuck...I'm a vampire whose bro wants to kill me, my bf doesn't love me as much now because I'm not some asshat doppelgänger, my friends have kinda peaced out on me, but the one dude who I always put on the back burner has a total hard-on for me still... Now might be as good of a time as any to bang this duder and be a vamper."

E: That's how I see Elena right now. 

N: Same. I really feel that Bonnie would have been better as the judgey friend at the pageant with Elena rather than Caroline. She LOVES to judge.

E: She loooooves to be right too, which doesn't happen often. 

N: I just feel like it was out of Caroline's character to be that way. 

E: She's changed, for the better, and they shouldn't fuck with her. 

E: Just let her bone Klaus and be happy. 

N: It really was. I understand that her and Stefan are BFFs, but it just wasn't her. It was pre-vamp Caroline

N: Yep. Bone Klaus and be well

E: Plus Stefan and Klaus get along so well, so they could all just kick it somewhere.

E: Because Elena is dead now, does that mean that their lake house is now Jeremy's? Because he and Matt should just move out there and bro out. 

N: Word. Stefan, Klaus and Caroline should all work together to get the cure and drink and shoot the shit all the time!

N: Again, using our powers of good to make this the greatest show ever.

E: They can all be vampers and let Elena be an annoying ass human somewhere else. 

E: Right?! Bring back the joy and fun Julie Plec!

E: I know what klaus is getting caroline for xmas...

E: His penis. 

N: Seriously. I want a fun and campy show!

N: That seems like a great gift

E: It's the gift that keeps on giving.

N: For eternity

E: After a 1000 yrs that guys has got to have some MAD skillz. 

N: Oh absolutely! Caroline needs to get her shit together and get on that A-SAP

N: It's really for all of us.

E: Take one for the team Caroline...

N: Seriously. Naked, accent-having Klaus needs to happen.

E: Most decidedly so. 

N: He just hasn't been naked enough for a teen drama on The CW

E: Agreed. He needs to give Jeremy and Damon a respite. 

N: Not too much for Damon though... No need to get crazy now.

E: Well he has to continue boning Elena, which involves his shirt being ripped off. 

N: True, but we need to have more focus on his bare chest and not Elena's bra and awkward "sexy" moves

E: TRUE STORY!!!

N: So, basically, we've got it down to more nudity from Klaus and Damon and Elijah when he comes back. Jeremy and Matt bromance at the lake house, more Caroline and Caroline boning Klaus for the team. Bonnie just wandering in the ether and Elena not being annoying. Stefan/Klaus super bromance. Stefan/Klaus/Caroline drunk friend nights.

E: Exactly. 

N: Good talk.

E: Seriously. I needed to get that out. 

N: It's what I'm here for.

E: Which I am most thankful for